don't ravage each other anymore, and it isn't for your
lack of trying. According to a new study, women in a
committed relationship report lower levels of sexual
desire over time while a guy's desire stays the same.
(Yet another reason to start with a lusty woman to
begin with!)
Some research suggests that somewhere between 6
and 30 months, relationships switch from
passionate to compassionate—more affectionate
than ripping each other's clothes off.
So are you to blame for her lack of lust? Not
necessarily. For women with a lower sex drive in the
first place, the switch to a deeper emotional bond
may reduce some of the excitement associated with
sex in new relationships."
Still, you're not exactly helping matters. Vow to never
commit the following mood-killers again and your
sex life will suffer no more.
1. Ignoring Her Appearance
Guys in long-term relationships tend to stop noticing
when their partner looks pretty, and so much of
female sexual desire is tied to a sense of self-esteem.
The fix here is simple: Pay her a few simple
compliments every day, like letting her know she's
sexy.
2. Putting Her Under Pressure
Don't worry or question her about getting orgasms.
Stay relaxed and focused on playful touching. This
means no performance pressure on either of you. Let
whatever happens happen in its own time—or not.
Good sex is about connection and sensual
satisfaction, not number of orgasms produced. And
here's a nice added benefit to staying calm: The
relaxation is good for erections.
3. Using Porn As a Benchmark
It's good to keep the sex hot—but it's more important
to keep it real. In other words, forget that cool move
you caught on XTube. Just because you saw a sexual
practice in a film doesn't mean it's safe or satisfying.
And it might not even be something she's into. If you
need extreme stimulation to perform with a partner,
you may want to cut back on overstimulation. A
desensitized brain can also find sex less arousing.
As you restore your brain to normal sensitivity,
regular sex behaviors become enjoyable again. Time
to rediscover the wonders of the missionary position.
4. Leaving Her Lips Hanging
As men get comfortable in a relationship, their
approach to foreplay tends to focus on the moments
leading up to sex. But female desire doesn't operate
like a light switch that turns on and off—it's more
like a dimmer. Small acts of intimacy like hugging
and kissing can get her in the mood. But don't get
antsy: Don't expect her to be immediately turned on.
Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in comments are
those of the comment writers alone and does not
reflect or represent the views of Somayina.
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