way? Why does this feeling seem to overwhelm
and control us?
1. Seeing – In order to stop jealousy, we must first
see the cause as to 'why' we are becoming jealous. To
understand the 'why' we must ask ourselves the
question…
Do I enjoy being controlled by jealousy?
If the answer to this is yes, then you have not truly
seen the destructive nature of jealousy and it may
therefore be necessary for you to continue your
experiences until you realize the consequences of
allowing jealousy to exist within you.
If you are still reading, we can assume you are ready
to stop jealousy within yourself, and we can move to
the next part.
2. Find the Cause – The cause, or starting point of
jealousy is quite simply is a
manifested emotion caused by desire for something
outside of yourself. Looking more deeply into the
experience, one will find that it is actually based in
some form of fear – be it fear of being seen as less
than others, or perhaps fear of being left alone, or
even fear of survival. In any case, the starting point
of jealousy is actually fear of some sort. You can see
within yourself what is the root cause of your
jealousy by asking yourself the question – what am I
fearing to lose when I experience jealousy? There
may be only one or perhaps a number of fears within
yourself. Write them out for yourself.
3. Address the fear – Lets say for example, you are
fearing to lose your partner/relationship. So lets look
at that fear to test and see if its a valid belief. First we
look at it from the perpective that this fear of losing
ones partner is not real. Why would it not be real?
Because all fear of loss exists as limitation placed on
oneself within the belief that 'we are limited'.
Limitation in not really who we are, it is simply a
belief - because in actuality, life is not limited – it
only appears so because of our accepted beliefs.
From the other perspective, if we believe the fear is
real, then we must believe
that we are limited to (and therefore subject to) fear,
and thus we cannot change, and so we are stuck in
jealousy having no choice in the matter. In that case,
jealousy is not able to be stopped. This is a false
belief. Jealousy is able to be stopped, and we are not
limited.
One is only limited if one believes oneself to be so.
There is no proof of limitation anywhere to be found,
other than within the systems of beliefs we have
created for ourselves.
To give a hypothetical explanation – lets take
another example – you let go of that partner you are
jealous of and the next day you find someone that
opens a whole new world of opportunity and
happiness for you. You can see how limiting yourself
by allowing jealousy limits your full potential in that,
if you had allowed your jealousy to control the
experience and gone into the consequence of that
limitation, you would not have allowed yourself the
opportunity to experience meeting the new person.
Its interesting that in our minds we are always
gambling and usually taking the safest bet. This is
an indicator we are being controlled by fear.
4. Self-Forgiveness – So we realize fear and
limitation are simply false perceptions we hold on to
within our minds. And if that's all they are, then we
can simply let go of these false beliefs. We do that
through self-forgiveness within the realization that
we no longer believe in limitation or allow ourselves
to be controlled by fear.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to
limit myself in the belief that I am limited.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to
limit myself in the belief that I am not able to let go of
and stop fear within myself.
Now that we have addressed the root cause of the
jealousy and see how it is based in fear and limits us,
we can easily stop being jealous because we
understand how it works.
In doing so, we free ourselves from the limitation and
fear belief systems.
5. Change Yourself – So when the feeling or
emotion of jealousy comes up within us, we simply
stop and breathe, realizing that we no longer accept
and allow these false beliefs to control us. I am not
limited or controlled by fear, therefore I will not
allow such feelings and emotions to control me. You
see, its quite simple, you have stopped jealousy
within yourself and you are now free from that
limited belief system.
Realize, in order to fully stop jealousy, fears, and
limitation within oneself it may take some time and
likely more in depth self-forgiveness on your part.
Don't expect it to be over instantaneously. I have
outlined the principles to give you a really good head-
start in understanding how it works. The
effectiveness of removing jealousy within yourself
will depend on how extensive it is within yourself, as
well as how willing and committed
you are to changing yourself. These same principles
can be applied for many other feelings and emotional
reactions as well. I am happy to assist with this, but,
as most people, you will likely require more specific
support. This is offered through the Desteni-I-
Process course for which I am currently a recruiter,
and I highly recommend it, if one is serious about
supporting oneself to improve ones life as a whole.
Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in comments are
those of the comment writers alone and does not
reflect or represent the views of Somayina.
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