'fake Abuja big boy' as written by Premium Times
Chinenye Ugonna. Enjoy below...
These guys are always well-dressed with
flashy cars. Some of them are even from rich
homes. You see them looking like a bag of
money, meanwhile nothing in their bank
accounts.
There is nothing wrong with looking good and
not having money to back it up. There is only
something wrong when you are doing it for
packaging. Continue...
1. Always with the fake accent: Apparently, this
is not exclusive to the babes. The male FABBs use
all the accents in the world; British, American and
Nigerian accent all muddled up in one. If they are
talking to a babe who probably lived in the UK with
a British accent, their accent automatically changes
just to impress. Please, embrace your Nigerian
accent, whether it is an Igbo, Yoruba or Hausa
accent, be proud of it. You don't see an American
man trying to talk like a Nigerian.
2. He only dates working girls: This is a highly
defining character of the male FABB. They do not
date jobless babes. If you don't have a J -O -B, then
it's onto the next one. They do not want to be
bothered about taking care of a babe who's probably
still in school or sharing CV about. That is not in
their dictionary of potential girlfriends.
3. He drives the flashiest of flashy cars:
Warning: Don't be deceived, the car belongs to their
father or uncle.
4. He always has a political connection: A
typical Abuja boy is always related to some
politician or influential person. The politicians are
always their uncle but hardly ever their father.
Sometimes, it could even be a politician they have
met once- he becomes their uncle.
5. He is a mummy's boy: Most of the rich male
FABBs live off the wealth of their family who still
pay for everything they own. If you know a guy who
lives in a very expensive duplex in Maitama but does
not have a regular job, check that guy! They
probably even get monthly allowance from their
parents every month as grown men. Hey, not
judging, you do you.
6. He immediately introduces you to his
family/friends: Imagine you meet this nice
looking guy in Abuja, and before you know it, he
has introduced you to his family and friends. In your
mind, you are thinking that you are an iyawo (wife
in the Yoruba language), not knowing you are
girlfriend no. 9.
7. He spontaneously proposes to you after a
short period of dating: They tell you that you are
a wife material or even propose marriage so they
can be living off their new working class babe. You
would cook, clean and before you know it, you have
turned to their provider. Their food, shelter, and
clothing would be taken care of by the working class
babe. They start with "Please, borrow me N10, 000,
I would pay you back." Next time, it's N20, 000 and
then it keeps increasing. Of course, the babe will
never get her money back. If you are guilty of this,
it's not good o! It should be a joint effort.
8. He only remembers his babe on
Thursdays: This is the time to remember all the
hook-ups they have forgotten from Monday to
Wednesday. They need to get a babe to turn up with
during the weekend. If Halima doesn't respond,
Salewa will. After all there are many fishes in the
sea.
9. He doesn't have a proper job: This is not
referring to the guys who genuinely work/hustle for
their money from Monday to Friday to make ends
meet. Thumbs up! This is for the guys who claim
they work during the week but people still cannot
point a finger on what they do. On Friday, they
would be the first to update their status with: "Turn
up weekend, TGIF".
10. He's always the first to pop bottles in the
club: They are always the first to order bottles just
to impress. When it's time to pay, they would
remember they have to go to the bathroom. It's not
by force to pop champagne. After popping and being
forced to pay, they come home to eat noodles. Bear
in mind that the money would have bought you a
nice plate of jollof rice and a big fat chicken.
So, there you have the Fake Abuja Big Boy, FABB
away.
Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in comments are
those of the comment writers alone and does not
reflect or represent the views of Somayina.
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