might become victims, but instead should be the
responsibility of anyone who might rape. However,
just like in many areas of our lives, there are some
basic measures that we can take to make ourselves
safer without impeding our ability to live and enjoy
life fully. If you want to find real, evidence-based
advice, this article can help you. Just start with
reading the facts below.
1-Clothing, hairstyle, and behavior don't play
the role you think they do in rape. There is no
statistical evidence that states that wearing any
particular kind of clothing or hairstyle makes you a
rape target. Don't let anyone try to convince you
that you should wear clothes or hairstyles other
than exactly what you want to wear.
2-Rape can involve orgasm or sexual arousal
for the victim . Sexual arousal and orgasm are not
always fully under our control. Your body may
simply react to the stimulus. You should not feel
bad or think that you weren't raped just because you
responded physically to your assault.
3-Rape doesn't happen where you think it
does. Most rapes, around 60%, happen either in
your home or the rapist's home. While dark parking
lots are not safe and some rapes do occur in places
like this, you should not spend most of your time
thinking about nothing but self defense.
4-Fighting back may protect you. Statistically,
under certain situations, you should fight back
against your rapist because it will make them stop.
This is a decision you will have to make for
yourself, but essentially, if they don't have a
weapon, you should strongly consider fighting back
5-Rape is not about sex, it's about power. Rape
isn't about the rapist getting sex when they can't get
it otherwise. It's not about you looking too sexy or
saying anything too flirtatious. Rape is about the
rapist needing to feel in control. They're angry or
they're sad or they have some other issue such as a
mental illness. This is partially why there is so little
you can do to really protect yourself.
6-Be careful with drinks you receive,
especially from someone you don't know.
When you're out at a bar or party, you'll need to take
some precautions when accepting a drink from
anyone, but not just from strangers. It doesn't
matter if you know the person giving you the drink
or if they look like an underwear model, it doesn't
necessarily make them safe or sane. Sadly, because
you are more likely to be raped by someone you
know, you don't even want to take a drink from a
friend in this situation. The only exception is if
someone offers you a drink and you watch the
bartender pour it and then hand it to you directly.
7-If you do decide to drink, drink with a sober
friend. Even just being out with a friend who also
drinks can help protect you, as long as you take
things seriously and stick together. Take someone
you trust and be just as trustworthy to them. The
buddy system can not only add fun to your evening,
but it can make a real difference in your safety on a
large number of levels, not just in preventing rape.
Going together can help you defend each other
against theft, kidnapping, drunk driving, and
other forms of physical harm that can result
when you're drunk.
8-Never take your eye off your drink. Similarly,
you should never take your eye off your drink. Take
it with you when you go to the bathroom. Don't set
it down on the table behind you while you show
someone how much better you are at pool than they
are. Keep it in your hand and clearly visible at all
times.
9-Have a ride home. Make sure you have a ride
home already arranged, so that you don't have to
rely on a stranger or possibly dangerous
acquaintance. Get a friend to come and pick you up,
have the bartender get you in a cab (alone), or better
yet, bring a sober friend with you. Taking a drunk
person home is one of the most common techniques
of a rapist.
10-Pay attention when you come home at night.
When you're coming home at night, look around.
Do you see anyone hanging out around your
building door? Do you see any suspicious cars in
your driveway? If you do, call someone for help, or
even just get a friend on the phone and have a
conversation with them while you get safely into
your home and lock the door. A good friend will
understand, even if it's late.
11-Try not to be alone with people who might
hurt you. Since you are most likely to be raped by
someone that you know, protect yourself by not
being alone with someone that might hurt you. Be
careful around new friends and other people that
haven't fully earned your trust yet, like neighbors.
Don't go into a neighbor's house alone or have
them over when you're alone in your home (the
same with new friends) until you know them much
better.
12-Make your home as safe as possible. Have a
safe place that you can go within your home, if
you're worried about threats from your family.
Consider putting a lock on your bedroom door, for
example, if you have reason to believe that you are
under threat from a family member.
Of course, if you're still a minor, you should
consult with CPS if you really believe you are
under threat. You should not stay in a home that
is not safe. Loving your family is not a good
enough reason to put yourself at risk.
If you are an adult and feel at risk from your
spouse or other family member, you may want to
contact a friend or local women's shelter that
can take you and your children until the
situation is resolved and another solution can be
found.
13-Speak up with your family members. Let your
family know when someone makes you
uncomfortable or does something bad to you. Many
family members would be willing to stand up for
you or get you help, but they may not be aware of
what is going on. It can be a very scary experience,
but any family member that is not willing to believe
you or at least investigate further isn't worthy of
your love.
14-Know when to get help. To avoid being raped by
someone you know, all you can really do is look out
for signs of trouble and get out or get help before the
situation escalates to rape. For example, an abusive
relationship can easily lead to rape. The same can
be said of family members. Pay attention to see if
they're grooming you to stay quiet about physical or
sexual violence, such as emphasizing the private,
special nature of your relationship or trying to teach
you that no one trusts you or thinks you're smart. If
you notice behaviors that seem suspicious,
dangerous, or make you uncomfortable or afraid,
get help.
15-If you suspect a rapist is following you, don't
be afraid to tell them you'll fight back. An
informal sampling of rapists in prison found that
many would leave a target alone if she threatened to
fight back. Say "Stay away! I will fight back if you
get closer!" Rapists are looking for easy targets;
people talking on their phones while walking,
rifling through their bags, etc. If you show them you
won't go down without a fight, you could scare
them off.
16-Punch, kick, claw, or otherwise aim for the
groin. If your attacker is male, a swift blow to the
genital area will cause an intense amount of pain,
and will dissuade most would-be rapists from
following through with their intentions. If your
attacker is female, a kick or punch that lands on the
vulva or clitoris will also cause considerable pain.
A square hit in the groin area often
incapacitates the attacker. If they are vulnerable
after the groin attack, try punching them at the
front of the throat (think Adam's Apple, women
are sensitive here too). This is also extremely
painful, and should render the attacker useless
for enough time for you to get to safety.
17-
Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in comments are
those of the comment writers alone and does not
reflect or represent the views of Somayina.
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