If they are stewarded well, they can yield more
harvest for you than anything else. The opposite is
true when friendships are not taken care of. It is
through your friends that you will learn the most
about yourself relationally.
Here are 3 ways to become a better friend:
1. Examine all your failed friendships and see
why things went sour.
"Its fine to celebrate success, but its more
important to heed the lessons of failure." – Bill
Gates
The best lessons learned are the ones that come from
the moments in life where success is nowhere to be
found. Failure has a plethora of effects on a person,
and can sometimes be, in the right season, more
valuable than success. Why? You not only learn
what not to do the next time, but you also learn about
a side of yourself that will prove to be invaluable for
the future. I have a few friendships that did not pan
out the way I desired for them too, but after
examining what went wrong, it brought life to all of
my future friendships.
2. Keep the 2 C's close in hand –
Communication & Confrontation.
Without conflict in friendships there aren't any
opportunities for growth. Many run out of fear of
offense or being hurt when conflict arises….but those
are the ripe moments in friendships. If you do not
learn how to confront conflict in a friendship, then
marriage is going to be a challenge for you. Healthy
communication is key for a smooth "come to Jesus"
talk. I call it that because Christ is our Cornerstone,
so when there is a disagreement we need to meet in
the Center and move from there. Do not try to have
friendships without Christ because it will lack
revelation to make it through the moments that
matter most.
3. Become a glass house and make
transparency a normal part of your life.
One of my weaknesses is trusting others with the
deep intricate parts of me because of my fear of being
viewed as weak. When you are a leader, you take on
this superman mentality, living to save everyone, but
easily forgetting about yourself. Transparency is the
key that unlocks the door to a thriving, trustworthy
covenant friendship. Allowing someone access into
the parts of your life that even you are fearful of
peering into is the beginning of shining the light on
darkness. According to Ephesians 5:13, "But when
anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible."
This must be for every secret you have, and will ever
have. Do not wait, expose it. Any secrets you carry
are not just between you and yourself, but you,
yourself, and the devil. This is why God brings
friends into our lives that we can build a covenant
agreement to walk with us during hard times, and
challenge us to grow.
In a glass house, you can see everything from every
angle. In our generation, especially with the rise of
social media, we are caught up sharing the
highlights of our lives. You can, without hesitation,
hide behind the highlight moments of your day, but
who is invited into the dark moments? The Bible
states in Proverbs, 18:1:
"A man who isolates himself seeks his own
desire; He rages against all wise judgment."
Do not isolate yourself in order to prevent having to
tell friends the whole truth. That is a strong spirit
that causes you to masquerade like everything is
okay, when actually your life can be in complete
turmoil. You hurt yourself, and hurt those around you
because they need the real you. If you do not have
anyone in your life you trust to share the dark things
about yourself then pray for God to send you
someone. Your spouse will be your best friend, but
they should not be your only friend.
Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in comments are
those of the comment writers alone and does not
reflect or represent the views of Somayina.
No comments:
Post a Comment